What Is Love…

What is Love but this?

The shining reflection of our greatest hopes and dreams,

the fleeting shadow of our deepest fears and longings,

the encouragement of our noblest thoughts and deeds,

the Muse of our most beautiful poetry,

the purpose of our breath’s existence,

the Light that leads us to transcendence,

the precious jewel we both live and die for,

the call to feeling we simply cannot ignore,

the shattering of hubris and vanity,

the rising tide of delightful insanity,

the power that clears out all corruption,

the returning life after destruction,

the source of all security,

the common ground of our humanity.

Let Love not hide behind walls or fences,

let Lovers not fall to false pretenses.

Be brave, courageous in your Loving,

there is not a finer way of Living.

~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer

Quantum Woman

The observer defines
The observation in their mind
What am I to your eyes
How am I defined
A particle of Light?
A wave of emotion?
A goddess in the night?
A siren in the ocean?
What do you see, oh scientist
What do you make of magick
What do you observe, oh agnostic
What do you call enchantment
Attempt to predict what I will do
To your heart’s content
I will delight in astonishing you

~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer
© June 13, 2019

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Aging Grace

When I am 82 and silver-grey
And smiling wrinkles fill my face
I know I will still be beautiful
Because I have seen my grandmother’s grace

When the outer loveliness fades
The inner radiance will shine
From deep within my heart space
Where love, joy and kindness align

My laughter may be softer
But it will still playfully ring
My voice may start to falter
But I will still joyfully sing

Though my sight may start to fail
My eyes will still sparkle green-grey-blue
Though memories may begin to slip
My heart’s love will yet continue

Forty year’s from now I will smile
As I face my life’s end
Knowing I will have given
All that I am, or have ever been

To Love

*
*
~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer
© June 18, 2019

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Spoonfed Love

I give you my mind
In small poetic pieces
Spoonfuls of sweetness,
Sorrows, and spice
I feed you my soul
In bite-size morsels
So I don’t overwhelm you
With the richness
I share with you my emotions
In colorful language
Painting pictures
Of my internal landscape
Drawing you a word map
In case you ever wish
To venture within
And explore my world
More deeply

~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer
© April 17, 2019

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Anxiety

I’m not feeling ok
And I feel so alone
The most painful part
Is knowing I’m not alone
In more than one way
I’m surrounded by people
Who love me dearly
I think, I’m pretty sure
Most days anyway
Except these days
The ones like today
When I’m sleep deprived
Exhausted to dizziness
Pain levels at an 8
For three days straight
Eyes aching tired from staring
At numbers and letters
On blue light screens
Praying everyday that the ball
I drop will not be important
In an unfixable way
Because balls are dropping
From my overfilled arms
And my fingers are cramping
From the keyboard strokes
And my dreams are math
And algorithms calculating taxes
The tax on my soul and body
For the means to provide
Support and nourishment
For the people I love
Whose needs are my Mission
My reason for existence
To give as much as I can to
As many as I can for as
Long as I can until my last
Breathe leaves my body
My heart is aching knowing
I am not alone also in
That I am not the only one
Who feels this way, everyday
We all struggle with our own
Private pains and sufferings
Trying to smile our way to
Self convincing, or at least
Convincing enough for those
Who see us daily in our
Efforts to Live, to exist and
Be Human in a world so hard
For humans, made unnecessarily
More difficult for humans, by humans
Who live their lives uncaringly
Destroying others and the reality
Of co-creation we all depend
Upon for survival, for nourishment
My body aches, my spirits cries
Heart weeps in daily surprise
That with a Screaming voice
Within my head that wails
Constantly in her grief and agony
There is Still LOVE and HOPE
Singing within me, a song
Carrying me through each hour
Of each day, trying to Sing louder
Than the screams.

~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer
© April 16, 2019

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Let Go & Choose Happiness

“When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. Believe me, it has nothing new to say.”

This has been resonating inside me since yesterday. Feeling so much Joy in the Present and Being present that my heart is light-filled. Something has shifted inside of me.

I’ve been processing a lot lately, emotions rooted in unmet needs, disappointed expectations, frustrated desires. These feelings of not knowing how or where to find what I seek. These lifelong patterns of connecting with people, shocking them with my energies, and being only a catalyst in their journey that brings them healing, sets them on their path-calling, cracks their hearts open… And then they leave. Taking their newly healing and opening hearts with them to go find someone else to love.

I couldn’t count the numbers of people I have loved, and healed, and taught, and Kundalini-shocked like a spiritual defibrillator that revives Souls. So many hearts, souls, minds and bodies I have touched with unconditional love and healing grace.

And then they leave, sometimes without even saying goodbye. And they rarely realize or understand who and what I am. How rare it must be for ex’s to call me “a goddess” “pure magick” and “the best thing that ever happened to them”… Even as they walk away. The story of my life is a long series of Goodbyes, of people walking into my world broken and suffering, and then walking out of it better for having known me. But still walking out.

I must have made some plan, had some agreement or intentions to focus my life on practicing unconditional love without attachments.

And yet, the longing with in my heart and soul for a companion, a true lifemate and lover, one person who once healed by my touch chooses to stay and love me back… I don’t know how to turn that longing off.

It is my deepest greatest desire. And the one hope I hold onto most tenderly, though some voice inside me gently reminds me… Let It Go, this dream is not for you child. You are here to Serve and Give. Let Go of your heart’s aching desire for a love that stays… Choose to find happiness alone and in the healing you bring to others.

I want to be brave enough to accept that. But the ache… It remains.

Thin Ice

My life is ice skating
My past dark waters beneath
Ice so clear I can see through it
To the murky depths below
I skate just above
Carefully
Trying to avoid the thin areas
Where sometimes it starts to crack
Grateful for the thin layer
Of illusionary protection
Between my past
And my present
A few times
I’ve almost fallen through
But gratefully never fallen back in
I spin and strive and race
Across the ice
Hoping I can stay
On the side where life is dry
And comparably warmer
And just a little less frightening

~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer

Nov 21, 2018

The Science of Not Seeing

 

Some may call it an art
Not seeing
But there is far too much Calculation
Not seeing
And not at all any heart in it
Not seeing
Clearly, it is a Science
Not seeing

The algorithms of the eyes averting
Not seeing
Equations of the ears
Not hearing
Mathematics of the zero sum diverting
Not seeing
Any notion of human emotions
Not seeing

The turning away of the head
Not seeing
Awkward glances another direction
Not seeing
Phone in hand, earbuds on
Not hearing
Any distraction from the realities
Not seeing

The human bodies wrapped in rags
Not seeing
The hungry faces behind the signs
Not seeing
Voices calling out in desperation
Not hearing
Suffering on every street corner
Not seeing

Brutality wrapped in holiday lights
Not seeing
Homeless, freezing, starving
Not seeing
Shoppers walk with fancy bags
Not seeing
As though Science can make them invisible
Not seeing

Laughter on one corner
Not seeing
Tears and screams on the other
Not hearing
Rich and middle and working
Not seeing
Poverty and agony in their midst
Not seeing

How powerful is this Science of
Not seeing
That thousands can master the skill
Not seeing
The pain and degradation around them
Not seeing
The horrors of our failing experiment
Not seeing

The truth that we are only as good
Not seeing
As the Goodness we give to the vulnerable
Not seeing
That the suffering we allow upon others
Not seeing
Is the suffering we create for ourselves
Not seeing

How happy can you be
Not seeing
How joyful can you feel
Not seeing
How much love can you have
Not seeing
When you’re choosing to live your life
Not seeing

~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer

Nov 21, 2018

Trapeze

My life feels like a circus sometimes
So many feats of impossible acts
Happening simultaneously
In every direction you look
I am surrounded by them
Each one more edge of the sword
Dangerous and uncertain of success
Than seems possible to comprehend
I watch them all around me
From the still center where I breathe
Standing in the air, on a tiny platform
High above the chaos on the ground
In the midst of the soaring performers
Flying through the air, grasping at straws
Trusting that the connection will be made
In the nick of time that will stop their fall
From taking over their flight
I breathe in that center and understand
That each performer is an aspect of myself
Each act in Perfect syncronicity
They flow in and out of each other
Always on the brink of stumbling
Tumbling, tripping each other
Collapsing the whole structure
Of interdependent responsibilities
Tasks, desires, dreams, actions
Words, thoughts, emotions and relationships
One missed step, in the 3,000 things at once
Could trigger a domino effect
A massive implosion rippling into lives
From the center I breathe and watch
Observe, breathe, quiet, calm, steady
In, 2 – 3 – 4, Out, 2 – 3 – 4
The rhythm flows me to center
Reconnects me with my Self
As the Master conductor of this symphony
Notes, beats keeping time with the music
Inside, with the timing of the dance
Outside, with the beating heart following
The Intentional direction of the breath
With the focused center of the Will
There is a moment, and then another
And my breathe counts them out
And then the bar is swinging towards me
And like every woman learned to do
As a little girl skipping rope, double dutch
My arms lift up, my knees flex,
My feet lift off and I am soaring towards
The trapeze, my timing must be perfect
I can not be off by a second
There is no net beneath me
My hands connect, grasping at the bar
I am pulled in the direction of the next release
And in that moment between,
When my hands have some firmness to hold
On to, when I am briefly held up by something
More than just my own strength
As my fingers wrap around the bar
I exhale * ~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer
October 11, 2018

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Feminine & Masculine Instincts

Humanity is encoded with two instinctive desires for survival – the desire for survival of the species and desire for survival of the self. We share this in common with every other Life form. These are found in the instincts of every form of Life, no matter how sentient. These desires define Life as Living. From the smallest least complex single celled being, to the most complex. You see these in the struggle for survival, in the drive to procreate, in the willingness to risk death to save another, in the chemical messages of plants warning other plants of danger. Life is only sustainable when these two desires, these drives are in balance.

What we think of as “feminine” could just as easily be understood as the instinctual desire for the survival of “others”. Whether those others are humans, animals, trees, flowers or Life in general. The maternal, the nurturing, the healing, the giving, the nourishing, the birthing, the raising, the caregiving, the drive to support the continuation of other Life.

What we think of as the “masculine” could just as easily be understood as the instinctual desire for the survival of “Self”. Whether in physical, emotional, psychological, social, economic, political or identity of the importance of sustaining the “Self-ness”.

Both are necessary. Both are vital to the continuation of Life. Both have intrinsic value.

But they Must be in Balance. When they are not in balance, Harm is the result. When they are pathologically out of balance, with one significantly dominant over the other all manner of created suffering can and Does manifest.

When the desire for survival of “Self” is dominant, the results are Greed, selfishness, oppression, exploitation, control, cruelty, and degenerative social collapse with widespread suffering of Life and loss of Life become the dominant paradigm.

When the desire for the survival of others is dominant, if taken to unhealthy extreme victimhood, martyrdom, sacrifice of self, loss of self worth, lack of self-care and devaluing of the Life that you are can lead to self harm and subjugation.

We are all made out of both desires. Our society is driven by those drives collectively through shared and expressed values, beliefs, systems, choices and actions that show the imbalance and the consequences.

Our species has for too long been pathologically unbalanced in Desire for survival of Self over desire for survival and continuation of Life. The consequences of this imbalance, the suffering caused by the desire for survival of Self regardless of the cost of suffering and the loss of the survival of others.

For our species to survive, for as much of the Life currently here to survive as possible, we humans must regain our balance between the “feminine” and “masculine”. We must come to value our individual survival, while also celebrating and Supporting the survival of the Many. Because the truth is, without the many forms of Life, all in harmony, the individual cannot survive. And what makes Humanity a unique and Beautiful form of Life is our ability to appreciate Life in all forms, and to take conscious benevolent action for the survival of others.

~ Aurora Victoria WindDancer
11/7/18 11:11 pm