The Power of Names

I was born with a different name. Given by parents who didn’t want me and didn’t love me, yet selfishly my father named me after himself. I grew up acutely aware that I was unloved. When I heard the beginning of the story of Sleeping Beauty as a little girl, that her parents named her Aurora after the dawn, because she brought light into their lives, I wished to be loved like that.

When I passed through my first initiation in my teens, I was asked to choose a new name. I chose Aurora Victoria WindDancer – “Light’s Victory”, because I knew I was loved as a source of Light by the Gods and Goddesses, and the ancestors, and the guides, and guardians and I was a wanted child of the Universe. WindDancer – because of my affinity for air and the pure joy I feel when I call the Winds to dance around me.

I changed my legal name to Aurora in my 30’s when I realized that there was no one in my life who knew that person I used to be anymore.

Taking a magickal name is a sacred act of self-actualization, and the creation of connection between one’s mortal self and one’s immortal Soul and the Divine. Most people use their spiritual names only in private, or among their closest friends in their spiritual community. And for many years this was true for me as well.  However, as my life within the Pagan/Tantric/Spiritual communities in Oregon/WA grew to become the largest part of my life, as my Community became my Family, as I trained and studied and learned and taught and served, as I became a Queen, and a Priestess – more people in my life knew me as Aurora, than as the name I was given by those biological parents so long ago.  So I made a decision to fully embrace Who I Am and to take My chosen name as my legal name, and to let the past of my painful childhood fade away with the birth name that I let go.

How I Want To Live & Die

Qualities That Qualify

A while back one of my best friends advised me to sit and really think about, and write down, what qualities I value in people, and what I find attractive. I resisted at first, but she said to me "You should do this so that you'll have clarity on what's really important to you, and what you feel makes a person a positive healthy connection – so that when you meet someone who aligns with your values you'll recognize them." So I did. Here's my list of #QualitiesThatQualify Integrity, intelligence, wisdom, humility, kindness, compassion, trustworthiness, authenticity, strength in the face of adversity, the courage to be vulnerable, curiosity, drive to accomplish their dreams, willingness to do the work of becoming the best version of themselves they can be, a love of learning, a desire to serve and give back, passion for what truly matters to them, self mastery, strong ethics, a person who reads and pursues knowledge, is interested in science, philosophy, history, and can sustain thought provoking conversation. Depth. An open mind, an ability to listen for understanding the other person. Spiritual awareness – in any form that helps them grow and feel connection to the world around them and to themselves. A man who lives his life standing on his own two feet, with a smile and confidence, facing a Universe that can crush him in a million ways. Personal power. I don't care how beautiful the packaging is, if there's an empty box inside. But a person with those qualities is Gorgeous, no matter what they look like. #Values #SelfWorth #SelfLove #relationshipgoals

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Unconditional Love is not…

Unconditional Love does Not mean Unconditional Relationship.

Unconditional Love does Not mean having no boundaries.

Unconditional Love does Not mean being a doormat.

Unconditional Love does Not mean denying my own Needs and fulfillment to meet the needs of others.

Unconditional Love does Not mean tolerating being used, being abused, being neglected or taken for granted.

Unconditional Love does Not mean letting the other person treat you like a pizza, only taking the slices they want and picking off the toppings.

Unconditional Love is Not a drive-thru menu of a la carte pieces of me or my heart.

Unconditional Love can be given from a safe distance with healthy boundaries that protect my well being and spirit from mistreatment.

I can Love you unconditionally from my spirit and wish you health and happiness… And still have healthy conditions and boundaries around how I’m willing to relate to you.

Unconditional Love does Not mean sacrificing myself and my well-being for yours. Sometimes I will choose to do so when your need is greater and/or more immediate.

Unconditional Love does Not mean I have given up my right to say No to what is not good for me.

~ Aurora WindDancer

“The root word “condition” in “unconditional love” does not apply to the verb “to love,” but to the subject of the sentence, “you.” This means I will love you, no matter what condition you are in. It does not mean I will love you under any conditions, even if you are breaking my boundaries.” ~ Sienna Newcastle