Words Dancing On The Wind

I hope those who read my poetry can feel the sweet touch of her inflence on my soul.

my Soul is the Captain

guiding the mission

when She gives orders, I follow

without hesitation

though I may not understand

the rhyme or reason

I’ve learned it is best

to heed Her directions

my Heart is the Navigator

always watching the signs

the moon and the stars

sun on the horizon

feeling the currents and winds

with Her intuitive knowing

She guides me through storms,

ports, and destinations

my Mind is the Steward

making sure needs are met

commitments are kept

resources allocated and invested

to insure the success

of the Soul’s guiding vision

the sweet evolution

of this finite existence

I am the Vessel

and it’s a fine night for sailing

~ aurora winddancer

Sept 4, 2020

“When a significant relationship ends, when an important person leaves, when a deep love runs dry leaving you wondering where it was leaking from all that time… There are unusual things you give up that you don’t realize you subsciously blocked from your reality until the moment they appear again and you can choose to re-add them to your life.

It took me almost five years to be able to eat mizithra cheese again. There are thousands of small insignificant things we just can’t do anymore because it was associated with the one you lost. But each one you take back, gives you back another piece of yourself, and another measure of peace for yourself.”

Originally written one year ago, so much has happened in the year since I wrote this that I feel almost like a different being. There’s so much more I’ve reclaimed in my life since. So much more I’ve learned, so much more I want and am choosing to manifest. My heart’s journey of healing has been long and arduous, but I feel it beating stronger now. The cracks where it broke, became the spaces where the light came in, and it grew.

aurora winddancer

Sept 4th 2020, reflecting back on Sept 4th 2019, reflecting back on four years of struggle, healing, grief and growth.

“I just want to be happy,” she said

her voice echoing

in the empty room

or maybe just in her head

“I just want to feel loved,” she cried

her tears salt warm

in the coldness of her bed

her aching heart sighed

“I just want to be held,” she pleaded

with an unhearing universe

wondering if she is cursed

her pleading goes unheeded

“I just want to be touched,” she moaned

her fingers tracing the lines

of her touch-starved skin

as she lay there alone

“I just want intimacy,” she prayed

asking the Gods for mercy

for strength to endure

another night until the day

“I just want connection,” she whispers,

“to feel the touch

of another soul

brushing against my own.”

~ aurora winddancer

“Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, “May I have permission to go into battle with you?” Fear said, “Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission.” Then the young warrior said, “How can I defeat you?” Fear replied, “My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.” In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.”

Excerpt from “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advise for Difficult Times” by Pema Chödrön

She held the ripe sun-warmed fruit

in both hands,

smiling in anticipation of the reward

for all her hard work and patience.

It was too large for one hand to hold,

and looking at it’s thickness

and luscious color,

her mouth watered with craving.

As she wrapped her lips

around the skin,

the fruit burst into her mouth,

gushing it’s sweet juices

across her cheeks and into her hands.

She relished every drop

as she sucked greedily, taking it all in,

pure rapture on her face,

Knowing when she was all done

she would lick her palms

and fingers clean…

~ ode to the first homegrown tomato of summer ~ aurora winddancer

Sweet gentle softness of desire

A warm Winter’s fire

Glows lightly in my heart

Though Summer’s heat has yet to fade

Basking in a comforting light

That fills my being with peace

Could it be this simple, this easy

To let love grow within me

From bright spark

To warm flame

To shared hearth

Do I dare feed desire

And trust I won’t get burned

“She had waited for a rescue for so many years. So many. But now that she was an adult? She knew that there was no castle waiting for her on top of a mountain. No “real” parents still searching for her. No one that truly cared, one way or the other, about her future.

Which was why she had to be the hero of her own life.”

~ JR Ward

Sometimes I hate being single

Even more so now

In this time of Pandemic

The loneliness is deeper

When alone in isolation

Intensity of anxiety

Mixed with longing for intimacy

Acute awareness of the empty

Spaces in your bed, in your home

In your heart, in your life

Dancing with mortality

To a symphony of solitude

Is not the partnership

I’d dreamed of in my innocence

Aching for physical touch

Crying to sleep at night

Would give almost anything

For a hug, a kiss, to be held

While you sleep

Couples take these things for granted

I miss being in love

Feeling love

Feeling loved

I miss mattering to someone

I miss waking up

In a lover’s arms

Making love in the morning

Before the alarm

Now I wonder if I’ll survive

This fucking virus

To even have a chance

Of finding love again