Deeply Single

Sometimes I hate being single

Even more so now

In this time of Pandemic

The loneliness is deeper

When alone in isolation

Intensity of anxiety

Mixed with longing for intimacy

Acute awareness of the empty

Spaces in your bed, in your home

In your heart, in your life

Dancing with mortality

To a symphony of solitude

Is not the partnership

I’d dreamed of in my innocence

Aching for physical touch

Crying to sleep at night

Would give almost anything

For a hug, a kiss, to be held

While you sleep

Couples take these things for granted

I miss being in love

Feeling love

Feeling loved

I miss mattering to someone

I miss waking up

In a lover’s arms

Making love in the morning

Before the alarm

Now I wonder if I’ll survive

This fucking virus

To even have a chance

Of finding love again