I will

regardless
of whether anyone else loves me
I will love me

regardless
of whether anyone else chooses me
I will choose me

regardless
of whether anyone else holds me
I will hold me

regardless
of whether anyone else believes in me
I will believe in me

regardless
of whether anyone else hears me
I will hear me

regardless
of whether anyone else sees me
I will see me

regardless
of whether anyone else heals me
I will heal me

regardless
of whether anyone else values me
I will value me

Regardless.

~ aurora winddancer

No.

The world says “Fuck You!”
On a regular basis
To women who deserve
So much more grace
“What’s wrong with doing this thing
You clearly don’t want to do
That only benefits me
And does nothing really for you?”
“Because I Don’t Want To!
That’s it’s, that’s the whole answer.
I owe nothing to you
And you’re not entitled
To your presumptions
Any more than you’re entitled
To my body
Which is Not At All by the way
In case no one ever told you
Your callous games to get laid
Are too old and too played
And I’m really not interested
And that’s why I said
“No I don’t want to!”
That’s it, that’s the whole damn answer
And I don’t owe you
Any more of an explanation
Any more than I owe you my body
For Your Entertainment
Or to sate your frustrations
I thought you were actually
Interested in me
You are only interested
In what I can do for you
What you can use me for
So “No! I don’t want to!”
That’s it, that’s the whole answer
I am not a disposable toy
For your short-term gratification
And I don’t owe you anything more

~ aurora winddancer
july 29, 2021

Solo Trip

At some point along the way
I needed to accept
That you weren’t going to meet me
Where I needed to be met
This affection I gave
Was a one-way ticket
The round-trip price
Of a love unrequited
Was more of a cost
Than my heart could afford

~aurora winddancer
July 6, 2021

Reckoning

Life lived
In the spaces between realities
Astounded by the fragilities
Of barely conscious humanity
Standing on the blood soaked
Lands of stolen identities
Grief swept plains
Dried crisp in swealtering heat
Raging rivers now whimper
Unsure if they will have the strength
To wind their way back to the Mother
Oceans choking on refuse
Infected fevers of once cool waters
Emptied spaces
Where life flourishes no more

The Earth brings up Her dead
Bones of betrayed children
Brought en masse to the surface
Of human unconsciousness
Testify of inhumane cruelty
That can no longer hide
In plain sight

Lives lived
In the spaces between realities
The Truths we deny
And the fantasies we buy
Hiding from shame
In gated communities
Pretending there is not
A great Reckoning coming
Privileged whiteness
Has never been clean
It is stained with the blood
Of all those oppressed
To buy its privilege
No tears of too-late remorse
Can wash away

~ aurora winddancer
July 1, 2021

Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP

Congratulations to Native American, Louise Erdrich on winning a Pulitzer. File this under things I wish I’d written:

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” ― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP

Keys

You walked into my heart
Like you’d owned the place for years
The keys in your pocket the whole time
Like there wasn’t a decade of dust
Covering the floors
Like the doorbell was set to your chime
Pulled back the drapes
And opened all the windows
To let the light come streaming in
I just stood there in the middle
Of all that quiet empty space
Wondering where the hell you’d been
And how you knew the address,
How’d you have the keys
To walk into my locked up heart
As if you’d owned the place for years

~ aurora winddancer

I know that there is a new song in this one and I haven’t finished writing it there’s more to add. There’s a melody in my mind that I hear with this one. I’m looking forward to composing its completion.

Finish Line

I waited for years
For you to stop running from Love
Though I cheered
With much fanfare for your steps
You
Were a cross-country runner
Hell bent
On seeing other Finish lines
It took
Some time to realize
You were
Never running towards mine
So with tears
I packed up my banners
Took down
The feast tables and drinks
Put away
The balloons and glitter
Finally
Understanding my heart deserved better
Than being
Just one of many
Finish lines
For a cross-country runner
Running from Love

~ aurora winddancer
June 16, 2021

Grief Storms In

sometimes
i’m just trying to keep
my head and my heart
from tearing me apart
remembering to breathe
in the cyclone
thoughts whirling
doubts swirling
fears wailing into the winds
emotions like a hurricane
tears a deluge of rain
sobbing thunder
with each lightning strike
i hold on tight
to the shutters
cling to the center
as best I can
the storm in my mind
throws my heartbeat out of time
i feel the tower walls shaking
my heart breaking
to the rhythm of the pounding
voice in my head
telling me this storm too
shall pass
but first
it’s going to hurt
alot

~ aurora winddancer
june 7th, 2021

Of Flowers & Bees

i have learned well not to grieve
that which is not meant for me
the world is filled with so much grief
i need not add to it when i can just release
instead be embodied of love and peace
tasting the joys of all life’s beauty
choosing what is also choosing me
the flower does not grieve for the bee
that does not visit her petals or leaf
she knows her scent and necter are sweet
and there will always be another bee

~ aurora winddancer
june 1st, 2021

Home

we may only get a moment
in this perfect space
before time moves us forward
to a different place
so here and now
in this infinite grace
come home to my heart
and I’ll come home to yours

let our souls touch
in heartfilled embrace
as a chorus of angels sing
i will touch your face
our eyes will see the sacred
as we retrace
a lineage of lifetimes
we have danced together

come home to my heart
my weary traveler kin
allow your self to rest
oh sacred bard, oh divine musician
your journeys will continue
but take a breath sweet cousin
and lay your load at my feet
i will heal your heart with kisses

for the healer too needs healing
the musician to hear a song
a love that is a steady flame
in the hearth while you are gone
a filled cup waiting, a meal still warm
an eager ear and smile for a night long
filled with your epic stories
your heart held in the welcome of home

~ aurora winddancer
june 1st, 2021