there is a deep
aching sadness
so intensely painful in my soul
that my body feels it
like a great hole in my chest
filled with only the weight
of my longing and sorrow
a grief of aloneness
that not only drowns
my waking hours
but haunts
my solitary dreams
with the despair
of a Goddess
of Love,
who has poured love out
for eons
but has never received love
in return
no matter how much
I love myself
still I feel the agony
every day
of being unloved
but this melancholia
of loneliness
will Not be the death
of me

The First Hurt

When did we first hurt each other?
Do you ever wonder?
When did the first human first turn
on another human and hurt them?
And what could cause that moment,
What would create that impulse?
Abel and Cain, so many are taught
Were the first siblings to have relationship fraut
With envy and insecurity, jealousy and fear
Where the first violence of one human
Onto another, was born
But how can that be so?
And how can it be so easy,
To overlook the original birth of violence born
For how could the First man
Have ever known, how to make love
to the first Woman?
What primordial instinct could have possibly caused
The original man to touch tenderly
And gently, that most innocent of female
How could the first conception
Have been anything else
But a painful violation
Of a being who could not even conceive
Of consent, and how could we spend
Millenia as a species, pretending
That the first violent act of human upon human
Was a man against his brother,
And not a father against the Mother.

aurora winddancer
4/27/22 at 3:33 a.m.

I feel like this might be the most powerful piece I have ever channeled from the divine feminine. I really hope someone else sees it.


I will

of whether anyone else loves me
I will love me

of whether anyone else chooses me
I will choose me

of whether anyone else holds me
I will hold me

of whether anyone else believes in me
I will believe in me

of whether anyone else hears me
I will hear me

of whether anyone else sees me
I will see me

of whether anyone else heals me
I will heal me

of whether anyone else values me
I will value me


~ aurora winddancer


The world says “Fuck You!”
On a regular basis
To women who deserve
So much more grace
“What’s wrong with doing this thing
You clearly don’t want to do
That only benefits me
And does nothing really for you?”
“Because I Don’t Want To!
That’s it’s, that’s the whole answer.
I owe nothing to you
And you’re not entitled
To your presumptions
Any more than you’re entitled
To my body
Which is Not At All by the way
In case no one ever told you
Your callous games to get laid
Are too old and too played
And I’m really not interested
And that’s why I said
“No I don’t want to!”
That’s it, that’s the whole damn answer
And I don’t owe you
Any more of an explanation
Any more than I owe you my body
For Your Entertainment
Or to sate your frustrations
I thought you were actually
Interested in me
You are only interested
In what I can do for you
What you can use me for
So “No! I don’t want to!”
That’s it, that’s the whole answer
I am not a disposable toy
For your short-term gratification
And I don’t owe you anything more

~ aurora winddancer
july 29, 2021

Solo Trip

At some point along the way
I needed to accept
That you weren’t going to meet me
Where I needed to be met
This affection I gave
Was a one-way ticket
The round-trip price
Of a love unrequited
Was more of a cost
Than my heart could afford

~aurora winddancer
July 6, 2021


Life lived
In the spaces between realities
Astounded by the fragilities
Of barely conscious humanity
Standing on the blood soaked
Lands of stolen identities
Grief swept plains
Dried crisp in swealtering heat
Raging rivers now whimper
Unsure if they will have the strength
To wind their way back to the Mother
Oceans choking on refuse
Infected fevers of once cool waters
Emptied spaces
Where life flourishes no more

The Earth brings up Her dead
Bones of betrayed children
Brought en masse to the surface
Of human unconsciousness
Testify of inhumane cruelty
That can no longer hide
In plain sight

Lives lived
In the spaces between realities
The Truths we deny
And the fantasies we buy
Hiding from shame
In gated communities
Pretending there is not
A great Reckoning coming
Privileged whiteness
Has never been clean
It is stained with the blood
Of all those oppressed
To buy its privilege
No tears of too-late remorse
Can wash away

~ aurora winddancer
July 1, 2021

Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP

Congratulations to Native American, Louise Erdrich on winning a Pulitzer. File this under things I wish I’d written:

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” ― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP


You walked into my heart
Like you’d owned the place for years
The keys in your pocket the whole time
Like there wasn’t a decade of dust
Covering the floors
Like the doorbell was set to your chime
Pulled back the drapes
And opened all the windows
To let the light come streaming in
I just stood there in the middle
Of all that quiet empty space
Wondering where the hell you’d been
And how you knew the address,
How’d you have the keys
To walk into my locked up heart
As if you’d owned the place for years

~ aurora winddancer

I know that there is a new song in this one and I haven’t finished writing it there’s more to add. There’s a melody in my mind that I hear with this one. I’m looking forward to composing its completion.

Finish Line

I waited for years
For you to stop running from Love
Though I cheered
With much fanfare for your steps
Were a cross-country runner
Hell bent
On seeing other Finish lines
It took
Some time to realize
You were
Never running towards mine
So with tears
I packed up my banners
Took down
The feast tables and drinks
Put away
The balloons and glitter
Understanding my heart deserved better
Than being
Just one of many
Finish lines
For a cross-country runner
Running from Love

~ aurora winddancer
June 16, 2021

Grief Storms In

i’m just trying to keep
my head and my heart
from tearing me apart
remembering to breathe
in the cyclone
thoughts whirling
doubts swirling
fears wailing into the winds
emotions like a hurricane
tears a deluge of rain
sobbing thunder
with each lightning strike
i hold on tight
to the shutters
cling to the center
as best I can
the storm in my mind
throws my heartbeat out of time
i feel the tower walls shaking
my heart breaking
to the rhythm of the pounding
voice in my head
telling me this storm too
shall pass
but first
it’s going to hurt

~ aurora winddancer
june 7th, 2021