The One Day Wager

Choosing not to settle for what you know isn’t right for you and won’t bring you happiness or health can be so hard when you Really want to believe that it might “someday”. That “one day” wager is so tempting and seductive, a false hope that a connection, person, relationship, job, situation that is Not good for you Now, will “someday” miraculously be better, be good for you, meet your needs later, if you’re patient, if you invest, if you give enough, if you wait long enough, if you are “good enough” – but “Someday” never comes. And sacrificing our happiness and health now, sacrificing our needs and dreams and well-being now so we can gaslight ourselves into believing in a fantasy “someday” only makes us miserable Now AND in the future when our hopes and fantasies about “someday” don’t manifest.

If what is in front of you Right Now isn’t Right For You Right Now… It won’t be better later. Don’t settle, let go of what isn’t right for you. Or you risk Missing out on something that would be right for you when it appears because you’re busy, distracted by and wrapped up in pouring yourself into a “someday” fantasy with something that isn’t even meeting your needs or adding to your happiness now.

Fever Dreams

Stubbled beard on inner thighs

In fevered dreams I moan and sigh

Your fingers trace across my skin

Though you’re not here, you’re only in

My lust-filled mind imagining

The taste of you tasting me

My body heated trembling

As fingers play where you had been

In the dream from which I’ve awakened

Wishing you were there again

I close my eyes to look into yours

My ears strain to hear your words

Whispered in my mind as I slept

Between dreams and imaginings

The tingling feelings that have kept

Me up so late with thoughts of you

I’m aching to know if you kiss

The way that I imagine you do

~ aurora winddancer

September 22, 2020


Are my standards too high
Can you rise to the occasion with me
Will you stretch for the prize
Or complain I’m out of reach

I know what I want
I know what I deserve
I know what I need
And I know well my worth

My heart is not discounted
There’s no bargain for my touch
My love is not on sale
And I don’t settle for less

I know my kiss is priceless
My affections worth more than gold
This woman is top shelf quality
Don’t ask me to lower my standards

~ aurora winddancer

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Justice Incarnated

When great trees fall
rocks on distant hills shudder
lions hunker down
in tall grasses
and even elephants
lumber after safety

When great trees fall
in forests
small things recoil into silence
their senses
eroded beyond fear

When great souls die
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile
We breathe, briefly
Our eyes, briefly
see with
a hurtful clarity
Our memory, suddenly sharpened
gnaws on kind words
promised walks
never taken

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us
Our souls
dependent upon their
now shrink, wizened
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance, fall away
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance of
dark, cold

And when great souls die
after a period peace blooms
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us
They existed. They existed
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed

― Maya Angelou

North Star

my Soul is the Captain

guiding the mission

when She gives orders, I follow

without hesitation

though I may not understand

the rhyme or reason

I’ve learned it is best

to heed Her directions

my Heart is the Navigator

always watching the signs

the moon and the stars

sun on the horizon

feeling the currents and winds

with Her intuitive knowing

She guides me through storms,

ports, and destinations

my Mind is the Steward

making sure needs are met

commitments are kept

resources allocated and invested

to insure the success

of the Soul’s guiding vision

the sweet evolution

of this finite existence

I am the Vessel

and it’s a fine night for sailing

~ aurora winddancer

Sept 4, 2020

When Love is Lost

“When a significant relationship ends, when an important person leaves, when a deep love runs dry leaving you wondering where it was leaking from all that time… There are unusual things you give up that you don’t realize you subsciously blocked from your reality until the moment they appear again and you can choose to re-add them to your life.

It took me almost five years to be able to eat mizithra cheese again. There are thousands of small insignificant things we just can’t do anymore because it was associated with the one you lost. But each one you take back, gives you back another piece of yourself, and another measure of peace for yourself.”

Originally written one year ago, so much has happened in the year since I wrote this that I feel almost like a different being. There’s so much more I’ve reclaimed in my life since. So much more I’ve learned, so much more I want and am choosing to manifest. My heart’s journey of healing has been long and arduous, but I feel it beating stronger now. The cracks where it broke, became the spaces where the light came in, and it grew.

aurora winddancer

Sept 4th 2020, reflecting back on Sept 4th 2019, reflecting back on four years of struggle, healing, grief and growth.