Childlike Wonder

Today I spent my day with someone I have never met before, and I will probably never meet again. Our meeting was a complete unforeseeable coincidence of same day same place. And yet I feel more seen than I have ever felt in my life by anyone. I spent my whole life being a person that everyone tells their whole life story too. Ok, It may not be everyone, but it is so frequent and common that it is one of the defining characteristics of my existence. And today I had the rare and beautiful opportunity to tell someone my entire story. Everything really, everything that made me who I am and defined me as a person and everything that helped me become the person I am today. I just shared the whole story with him, and he listened the whole time and he engaged. He listened and he asked questions and expressed interest and displayed real emotional connection with what I was sharing. And he never once in any way expressed even a shadow of doubt or disinterest. And I felt more comfortable and free and safe and good than I have in a very long time. I don’t even know what that was. It felt like I fell in love with someone and we became best friends in a matter of hours, only to part ways at the end of the day knowing that we will probably never see each other again or interact beyond this and it didn’t matter. It was like being a child again, you know how when you’re a little little kid and your mom and dad would take you to a playground in the neighborhood you don’t usually go to, and you’d meet another little child on the playground or in the sandbox and you would become instant best friends for the day. It was like that. And I didn’t know that was still possible. I didn’t know adults can experience that. I feel like a part of me healed today that has been ragged and jagged and torn for many many years. And now I feel sown back together. I took a walk in the woods with a man I’d just met and I was safe with him. And I knew I was. And I was completely open vulnerable and honest with him and it was easy and safe and painless. And I had thought I’d lost my ability to experience that. A kinship with a man that felt safe.

Thank you Aiden.